No More Glamazonia?

In case you haven't heard the news, Glamazonia will no longer be hosting Gay Bingo. Slog post is here, and Lifelong AIDS Alliance's response is here. If you've never been to Gay Bingo, let's say it's a 21+ fundraiser for LLAA, complete with bingo, booze, food, and an entertaining drag queen as the host.

Successful fund raiser? You bet: they consistently sold out, and attracted a diverse audience (gay and straight) willing to shell out money for entertainment and a good cause. But now, with no more Glamazonia, the appeal of the show is being questioned.

Here's a letter I sent to the LLAA in response. Tongue-in-cheek and sarcasm-filled, of course.

David and the Gay Bingo staff,

I recently heard a rumor that Glamazonia was dropped from LLAA and Gay Bingo. I rushed over to your web site to see if the rumor was true, and sure enough, I found your post on the matter.

What great news! I wholeheartedly support your move to drop Glam from LLAA. You see, my kids (Filbert, 5, and Seamonkey, 9) and I love Gay Bingo. We go every chance we get, sitting up front at a queens table, enjoying the sights and the sounds, dressing up in costumes appropriate for the theme, and relishing in the BINGO, of course! My kids love the pizza, and I enjoy the drinks (I can have one now and again, my support group says). But every time that tall, built Glamazonia comes out, my kids start freaking out, crying and screaming.

"Who is that?" they ask me. "Why is she saying what she's saying? Why am I being forced to listen to such harassing language?" (yeah, they're pretty precocious with their vocabulary). I try to calm them down, explaining to them that Glamazonia is just another one of God's creatures, and to remember that not everyone shares the same Puritanical values that our Mayflower ancestors did. But it doesn't quiet them down one bit. Sometimes I'm forced to give them a sip of my Long Island Iced Tea to keep them quiet and let the other people at my table enjoy the show. An outrage, that Glamazonia's actions drove me to that!

From the beginning, Gay Bingo has been one of those wholesome family events that kids and parents alike could enjoy together. Like the Zoo events at Woodland Park, or the Village Children's Center down near the Space Needle, or the Krazy Klowns Horror Freak Ride Show 2000 (that's still around, right?), Gay Bingo has been the place to enjoy some safe, G-rated fun with kids and "kids at heart". When Glamazonia took the helm, however, things went downhill. I couldn't believe the stuff she was exposing my innocent kids' virgin ears to. And her language! Gosh-diddly! Often, my kids have to run to the safe clutches of one of those nuns, the Sisters of…oh, you know, those saintly women. I thought those nuns would keep Glamazonia in line, what with their religious, cloistered upbringing. But I guess Glam was just there to do whatever the heck she wanted.

Thanks again for dropping Glam. I assume now you're in the market for another host. May I suggest Casey Treat? He's great with groups, and he could even add some group prayer to the event!