The KUOW Fundraisers Are On Drugs

Let me explain.

Wait, first let me share that I'm a member of KUOW, which means I give them money because I think they provide a great resource of news, information, conversation, and entertainment. I totally understand the need to do fundraisers, as half of the station's money comes from individuals and foundations. So, yeay to KUOW and yeay to raising money.

Now, let me explain what I mean by "on drugs". In the span of a couple of days, I've heard the following:

• John Moe singing the music from Marketplace that they play when they "do the numbers", to signify that they're raising money. Then, transitioning to a fellow fundraiser singing while John pretends to "do the numbers" and report how the donations are going for that hour.
  
• Stories about how the pledge "premiums" have special magical powers. For example, the knit cap traps your thoughts and prevents them from leaving the vicinity of your head.
• Getting really really excited about pledge gifts' innate abilities. The adjustability of the messenger bag shoulder strap was mentioned with glee and feigned disbelief (aka "Shut Up!").
  
• Hyperactive reactions to phone calls being made to the pledge line while the fundraisers are on-air, such as "...and call in [phone rings], just like that person, yeah!, and donate to..."
• Goal math gone bad. I heard John today say something like, "If one person donates $5,260 dollars, we'll make our goal for the hour!"
  

More often than not, the on-air pledge drive sounds like it's reported by over-energetic, ADD people who are quick to go on a tangent on any old topic that crosses their minds. I'm sure the on-air fundraising isn't very fun, and hats off for sticking with it. But why does it have to sound like everyone's always high?